Says the Spider to Guest Blogger Suzanne Gunn, “Welcome to my orb!”

Orb WebSummer in Kansas goes through stages. It starts hot and muggy with a few bugs, which is followed by hotter and muggier and “did you see the size of That Mosquito”; and finally it’s damn hot, wring-it-out muggy, Backwoods Off as the perfume de jour and season of the orb spider.

Along with increase in bugs comes an increase in their nemesis, spiders (along with bats and miscellaneous birds, but this is about spiders). Most spiders know their place in the yard. The gorgeous yellow and black garden spiders spin magnificent webs along the border of things, neatly out of the way. Not so the orb. These ladies believe the world is their oyster and happily rig their webs any place they can get an anchor line attached. The webs can be really big, nearly invisible and surprisingly tough – after all it has to withstand struggling insects. We are now at the beginning of the Season of the Orb Spider (mysterious music, please).

So the other evening Skamp, the rat terrier, and I were following the plopping journey of a smallish toad across the yard. I was looking down at the little critter, not up. Oh darn! Walked smack dab, full frontal, forehead to belt into an orb spider web that hadn’t been there an hour before.

I levitated. Yodeled! Flailed mightily and then did my best cheerleader moves midair trying to remove web and find the spider (oh where is the spider!?!?!) and avoid stepping on dog or toad. Eeee! Once grounded on terra firma the spider hunt continued, bending at the waist, shaking out my long hair, alternately hopping, shaking and flailing. It’s the most horrible feeling not to know where the spider went to say nothing about the creepy web. The spider obviously survived because there was another web in the same exact place by the next morning.

If you happen to drive by our place and see the Lady of the Manor out and about waiving a long stick like a demented Hogwarts escapee don’t worry. It’s just the best available spider defense system. It’s low tech and it works. Sweep and swish through thin air and there went another spider web…

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